I recently rediscovered Benjamin Zander’s TED talk and demonstration on the transformative power of classical music. He is equal parts animated and inspiring in the video, and if you’ve never had the pleasure of listening to this particular presentation, you won’t be disappointed!
There’s a piece near the end of his talk that I can’t stop thinking about, because it can be applied to parenting. He’s sharing about a realization he had about his role as the conductor of an orchestra:
“I had an amazing experience. I was 45 years old, I’d been conducting for 20 years, and I suddenly had a realization. The conductor of an orchestra doesn’t make a sound. …He depends, for his power, on his ability to make other people powerful. And that changed everything for me. It was totally life-changing.
“I realized my job was to awaken possibility in other people. And of course, I wanted to know whether I was doing that. How do you find out? You look at their eyes. If their eyes are shining, you know you’re doing it.If the eyes are not shining, you get to ask a question. And this is the question: who am I being that my players’ eyes are not shining?”
Zander then brings that idea home to the breakfast table:
“We can do that with our children, too. Who am I being, that my children’s eyes are not shining?”
Our parenting role is much like Zander’s role as conductor: we’re working to make our children robust and strong, to awaken their potential. How can we equip them to grow in their gifts? How can we encourage them? Are we feeding their curiosity? Are we giving space for them to experiment and improve? Are we walking with them in their excitement?
Are their eyes shining today?
If you’ve never seen his entire TED presentation, you won’t be disappointed and you’ll likely have an unstoppable urge to listen to classical music for the rest of the day. And if you’re as intrigued by Benjamin Zander as I was the first time I encountered him, you might also enjoy his book, The Art of Possibility. It’s full of shining-eye stories.